by this post is complete, it will be roughly about half an hour to christmas eve. somehow this year the christmas cheer seems lacking. though i personally to do not celebrate christmas, i seem to be more nonchalent this year than in past years. like a skoog, i await the ghosts of christmas past, present and future.

when is it time to start living each day like it is my last? 

over the past few days there seemed to be signs around me, 3 within the past 3 days?, asking me to accept and stop resisting. but yet i will still wait, to procrastinate, as always. matters unresolved as of yet, hopefully they will be within a few years. there is always a tomorrow, is there not?

perhaps it is just christmas, a season of giving and celebration. as this day approaches, the new year looms over the horizon. perhaps, this will be a new start.

after school is finished, destroyed, where do we head for? at a crossroad, waiting for the next transport out of this phase. one way tickets, non refundable. so where is the next destination?

when i heard 2 american kids chanting 'we are the sages, we are the monsters' repeatedly in their backyard behind your house, i couldnt help but agree. prophecies of what the future holds...

The days sail by, without the sails, and it seems so many months ago that the exams ended, though it has only been 2 weeks. been out quite a number of times, perhaps more than a term's worth of going out within the space of 2 weeks. of course that also means that cash is spent, increasing the level of consumption in the economy by just abit. (just doing my part as a concerned citizen)

a few ideas here and there, but yet the resolve is lacking to see them through to completion. maybe that is why i like plants, because they grow without my encouragement? and on the (sad) note of chicken rice stalls and queueing, one has put up the 'sold out' sign, and i have moved onto the streets, looking for the next stall worth it to queue at. nah, the chicken rice stall analogy just doesnt seem to capture the idea in its entirety. perhaps a better one would be the fried rice stall. a simple dish, easy yet difficult to prepare. and the ingredients can be so variable. from prawns to lobsters, depending on how expensive one wants to go. but a simple fried rice dish, with the basic ingredients, can taste so heavenly, often more so than fried rice cooked with pricey ingredients. where is this simple fried rice? still looking..

somehow it suddenly seems hopeless, because i see a future without

perspective, it is all about perspective this day. when having the chinese a2 lunch today, when the food could not be finished, the number one reason for finishing the food surfaced. 'think of all the hungry children in africa'. as bad to me as that line sounds, yes, that is a reason why i sometimes stuff myself with food though i have the option to stop. to not eat will be to waste food, food to be thrown away, when millions of others are still starving.

but yet, i sit here and do nothing..