Time

The title is a figment of the human imagination.

But yet, we are slaves to this invention.

147 more days of suffering left to endure.

The time spent inside that enclosed prison(a place where the sun never shines) isn't spent in physical torture nor agony, but rather it is the little examples of what could have, has already, and will be wrong in this organization and system that eat away at my mind, leaving a void that only three letters can fill.

Some say that people swear more when in this organization. After a year and a half, i can't help but agree. I wonder why...

Almost at the end of October, but yet my heart and mind have yet to settle. The thought of what makes one happy still escapes me. not feeling sad definitely doesnt make one a happy person.

what is in a birthday? the declaration that i have managed to survive yet another year on this earth.

maybe this is the perfect moment to make yet another blog post on this blog. reason: cos ndp is over. i wouldnt dare claim that ndp has been a breeze, or that i enjoyed in thoroughly, but i have to admit it did change my perspective towards those who take part in the preparation and those performers in the parade. now i can feel the pain of each year's participants, of 16 or more saturdays burnt, of each ever so precious weekend burnt, and of course all the hard work they have put in, forced to or willingly.

how did i feel marching, singing the anthem and saying the pledge? a simple question with such a complex answer. a mixture of love and hate for what this country represents. but the important thing is, hate isnt the opposite of love, indifference is. hate is instead an offshoot of the love towards something, of expectations and hopes and dreams not fulfilled, leading to the generation of that particular emotion. how does one love a country but dislike the acts of the people who live in it, when it is the people that make up the country? by sitting on a fence i guess. though it is inevitable i will have to fall to one side or the other, sooner or later, it is true that for now, the balancing act continues.

and lastly, life is back to normal. (hopefully)

lo and behold, i have gone into understudy at the job site. spending 12hr+ 2 days out of 4 days awake and manning a com is not exactly the most demanding of jobs, but at the same time it definitely isnt a piece of cake especially on days with night shifts. for this i recommend eating coffee beans, with the testament that eating 3 kept me wide awake for almost the whole night. and as usual, climbing up the rungs of this ladder aint easy.

now that i have more time on my hands, the question that remains is one of how should i best spend my time, besides sleeping and eating. perhaps more sleep, but what else after that? i guess i have been indulging time in cheap thrill games, as well as the search for pdf documents on various topics related to botany. wouldnt harm to start reading up, would it?

posted to bayesian, existing for many hours a day underground, disconnected from the world, disconnected from the sun, disconnected from life. but that's just how life is, at least for the next 1+ years. no, wait. i am too optimistic here. more like, 2 - years, after all, it has been only 3 months since it all started.

been slightly more than a month since i have last blogged here. why u may ask. perhaps i was just too busy trying to get a life over the 1.5 days per week of freedom showered upon us, or perhaps everything is just restricted or a secret meant to be kept, thus the emptiness of the mind, and that of the space of this blog.

Posted to the water, a place i have mixed feelings about. still undergoing what they call 'navalization', i am still learning how to adapt to the change in environment from the previous place, and more importantly, to the people that i coexist with. i guess only here would i get the chance to actively interact with people from various walks of life.

Having to march for NDP and other parades does mean one thing: 6 day weeks because saturdays no longer exist.